Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
