I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
