Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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