love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
