he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
