So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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