So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My bed smells like the plague
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
