I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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