No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
