The maid of honor just puked.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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