On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
