He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
