ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
