Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize
