Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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