sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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