i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
