Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
