I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
