He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
