also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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