No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
