I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
