matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
