my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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