I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
