I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
