Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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