Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
