im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
