tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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