Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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