i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
