I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
