I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
