I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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