i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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