She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
