sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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