The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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