So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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