Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
