I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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