I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
