Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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