who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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