you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
