Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
