I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
