My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
