I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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