So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
