i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish i was in the wii world.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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